Twenty years + ago, I didn't think about not dating outside of my faith. Granted I was not living my life with Christ at the center. I thought it didn't matter if I dated someone who was of a different religion or even if they were non-believers. I actually married a man who was an atheist. I had been raised in the Baptist church. Church twice on Sunday and prayer meetings on Wednesdays. I was active in the youth group, but as often happens, during college my church attendance was non-existent and my leading a Christian lifestyle kind of fell by the wayside. I thought I could make it in the world all on my own.
So I did marry a non-believer and it didn't matter at first. Then, I became a mother. I began attending the Episcopal church and found it a much better fit for my beliefs than the strict Baptist upbringing I'd had when I was younger. I had my daughter baptized and she and I attended church regularly. My ex-husband didn't mind since I wasn't trying to convert him. It was hard for me as my faith grew, not to have a partner to share my beliefs with. Eventually, he felt it would be better for my daughter if we went to church as a family. The surprising thing is that after I left and my daughter was away in college, he continued to attend church on his own. Maybe God used me to reach a non-believer, but now I make it a rule to abide by what the Bible says about the subject. It tells us not to be "unequally yoked".
Recently, I met someone nice online. We talked for several weeks and eventually met for dinner. Two days later I realized that I couldn't remember what his profile said as far as religious preference. I went online and looked only to find that he listed himself as non-religious. I had to call him, hoping all the while it was a mistake. I really liked him. But I knew that it would not be fair to him or to myself if I kept seeing him. When I spoke with him he said that he was an agnostic.
That set off a Biblical debate. The same arg;aments I've heard my whole life when people try to argue science vs. religion. I'm not a religious scholar but I do study the Bible and pray for discernment that I understand the word as God would have me do. For his every point against Christianity I had a counter-point. What it all boiled down to was that I told him I have experienced God moving in my life and everything comes to a matter of faith. We agreed it best that we not continue seeing one another.
This may seem harsh and judgmental, but in reality I'm doing as God commanded. It's hard enough for a couple to stay together these days if you complicate things by marrying a non-believer the cards are stacked against you from the start. I want a companion and partner in my life who shares my faith who understands that I lean on God and pray for his guidance. So, now, one of the first things I ask when I meet someone new is what is their religious affiliation. I trust that God will bring to me the partner he has planned for me to meet. I have faith that he knows my needs greater than I even know. I will definitely not date a non-believer ever again.
1 comment:
In my experience, both of us believing in God brings us closer together. I'd dated other guys who weren't Christian, and looking back on it, I can see how it wouldn't have worked for us. It's another level to bond on, and when we make decisions, we're coming at it from the same place. I can see that you've been there, done that, and you have a better idea now of what you really want. I think that's great!
Post a Comment