Trolley Run Station is a pretty new planned community in Aiken, SC. Development of this formerly heavily wooded area is still progressing in phases. Sitting off 118 far enough back into the woods you can't see the road there are new houses, town houses, and an apartment complex. It's a quiet community, one where in the past we might have been comfortable to leave the doors unlocked and go out and about unbothered. But we all new the days of open doors has long past, yet still until recently we felt safe in our homes and neighborhood.
When we were invited to download the community based app NEXT DOOR this feeling of community seemed to take me back to the days when all the neighbors knew and watched out for one another. The provided message boards for a variety of topics and as the number of neighborhood members grew we exchanged lots of information. Not just yard sales, but getting recommendations as to recommended vets or nail techs or many other services. When a neighbor's dog ran away, through NEXT DOOR we managed to organize a search party where we divided into teams and traipsed through the thick forest and underbrush calling out his name. We pulled together like neighbors should but don't anymore.
Our newest matter of contention discussed on the site is a criminal activity happening not just at night but during the day also. Two suspects have been spotted going up checking for unlocked car doors. If they find one they rummage through and steal the belongings from the cars. Several suspicious people have been spotted walking the streets with backpacks. The neighborhood all posted about when these events have happened trying to close ranks and figure out who is behind this. But burglary is not all they've been up to. A family not far from me had a brick thrown through their babies nursery window and found all of their patio furniture busted and thrown over the backyard privacy fence. This was a cowardly act of vandalism that just can't be tolerated. A man with a backpack came to another neighbor's door during the day and rang the bell. The daughter was home alone and thank God she looked out the peep hole first. She refused to open and he left walking down the road.
When these car plundering started a few months ago, Aiken Co. Sheriff's Dept. increased their patrols at night. Being the insomniac that I am I would hear their cars and see the spotlights they shined around the houses. I haven't seen them patrolling in a while and these even more serious events have been reported to them.
So what can we do. The communication that we have in place I'm sure will prove invaluable as long as the cops are willing to increase patrols and look for these suspicious types roaming our streets. We need to keep our security systems armed even while we are home alone possibly during the day. Keep an eye out for anyone who looks like they don't belong. If they are getting bold enough to do this during the day, who knows what they are capable of.
In 2008, while living in Kansas, I was a victim of a home invasion that took place at noon. I fought the attacker but ended up being stabbed. I had a lot of fear of being alone in my apartment for a long time. Now, with what's happening here, I'm beginning to feel uneasy coming home after dark, sitting in my backyard swing at night. I also hate being in the house alone.
Only by joining together as we have done will we see any hope of getting back our peace of mind. I look forward to meeting most all of you if you can come to the block party in September. I think we should all call Aiken County Sheriff's Office and demand to day and night shift ride through.
Thank you all for being such good neighbors. The kind that get stronger when facing adversity.
Monday, August 29, 2016
Sunday, August 28, 2016
THE WAR ON TERROR
I received a BA in Latin American Studies from the University of Miami in 1990. My concentration was on paramilitary and terrorist groups. I went to work in Washington, DC after that working in counterterrorism. I got first hand experience with terrorism when I was an exchange student in Bogota, Colombia in 1988 during the height of the drug wars. Pablo Escobar and other cartel leaders were at the height of their power. Terrorist and para-military acts happened pretty much every day. Colombia was in a bloody drug war and it was hemorrhaging. It developed into a military state. Military squads would march through the streets stopping cars, checking buildings, and looking for potential terrorists by stopping pedestrians. They put them spread up to a wall and perform a search and then ask to see their government ID which had to be carried at all times. In doing these stops they definitely used racial profiling. People don't realize there was a racially based class system for a long time in Colombia. First were white, next were moreno (a little brown mixed), then Indios (indigenous population of Indians), and last came black Colombians. I learned the lessons of their profiling pretty quickly. If I were out on the street with white friends from school I was never stopped. It was a different story when I went out with my Colombian boyfriend who was moreno. Almost every day, we would be stopped. They weren't very concerned with me. I'm very fair skinned with blue eyes and blonde hair. With my command of the language, I was often mistaken for Argentinian. I offered them a copy of my passport for i.d. But my boyfriend was always searched for drugs and weapons.
I didn't mind the stops because I knew how prevalent and dangerous the terrorists and paramilitary groups were. I sacrificed some of the civil liberties I was accustomed to in exchange for feeling safe.
Terrorism has come to US soil. ISIS are just the newest bullies on the block. They show their abductions and beheadings as messages to America. We know some ISIS related incidents have already happened here. It's no longer some other country's problem. They are at our back door.
America is at a cross roads deciding how many rights we're willing to give up in order to stop ISIS. It's like how you used to leave your doors unlocked at night. You could sit outside after dark without worry. Those times are gone. Now we lock our doors, we have security systems, panic buttons and think twice before venturing out late at night. We've sacrificed freedoms to stay safe from crime. Americans need to accept that the time has come that some civil liberties will have to be infringed upon to keep our nation safe.
We are no longer able to accept all the world's tired and weary. We need to lockdown our borders and I'm sorry folks but we need to keep out muslims from countries where muslim insurgents are active. We need to investigate and possibly deport those already here who could be parts of a sleeper cell. I accept that homeland security moniters internet traffic, chat rooms, blogs, and even private emails and credit card transactions while looking for terrorists. I have nothing to hide. It's like everything in life. There's no black and white to the issues and sometimes trade offs have to be made.
I also think that boots on the ground, raids, and air attacks against the ISIS cells we can find has to be increased. These terrorists are not soldiers of a government military who follow codes of conduct or the Geneva convention. They are cowards for attacking the innocent and they will not stop unless we kill or imprison them all. As far as i know, they still have some room down in Guantanamo Bay. With possible insurgents who are already here, they should be guilty until proven innocent. How many 9/11s have to happen before we wake up stand up and use force here in the US to say no more, never again.
I hope our next president will be one who stomps ISIS and other groups out of existence by any means necessary.
I didn't mind the stops because I knew how prevalent and dangerous the terrorists and paramilitary groups were. I sacrificed some of the civil liberties I was accustomed to in exchange for feeling safe.
Terrorism has come to US soil. ISIS are just the newest bullies on the block. They show their abductions and beheadings as messages to America. We know some ISIS related incidents have already happened here. It's no longer some other country's problem. They are at our back door.
America is at a cross roads deciding how many rights we're willing to give up in order to stop ISIS. It's like how you used to leave your doors unlocked at night. You could sit outside after dark without worry. Those times are gone. Now we lock our doors, we have security systems, panic buttons and think twice before venturing out late at night. We've sacrificed freedoms to stay safe from crime. Americans need to accept that the time has come that some civil liberties will have to be infringed upon to keep our nation safe.
We are no longer able to accept all the world's tired and weary. We need to lockdown our borders and I'm sorry folks but we need to keep out muslims from countries where muslim insurgents are active. We need to investigate and possibly deport those already here who could be parts of a sleeper cell. I accept that homeland security moniters internet traffic, chat rooms, blogs, and even private emails and credit card transactions while looking for terrorists. I have nothing to hide. It's like everything in life. There's no black and white to the issues and sometimes trade offs have to be made.
I also think that boots on the ground, raids, and air attacks against the ISIS cells we can find has to be increased. These terrorists are not soldiers of a government military who follow codes of conduct or the Geneva convention. They are cowards for attacking the innocent and they will not stop unless we kill or imprison them all. As far as i know, they still have some room down in Guantanamo Bay. With possible insurgents who are already here, they should be guilty until proven innocent. How many 9/11s have to happen before we wake up stand up and use force here in the US to say no more, never again.
I hope our next president will be one who stomps ISIS and other groups out of existence by any means necessary.
Wednesday, August 24, 2016
NAKED MEN, WHY?
I am on social media but I don't post a status every hour where I am. First it's not safe and second it bores other people. My only problem is I keep getting random men contacting me on FB Messenger. T hey are not my friends on FB and I really don't know why they keep finding me. Usually by the time I ignore their request to chat they send another message. I open it only to find a picture of a naked man touching his privates. Why would anyone find that appropriate?
I don't like seeing any man totally naked. I feel mens privates are purely utilitarian, not to be admired. Give me a good ole boy peeling off his shirt after working in the fields all day well I'd be very interested in seeing that. Pants on of course. Now contrary to popular belief, I am not a prude endorsing chastity belts but I do thing dating and in particular online dating is in dire need of an infusion of class. Certain things should remain in the bedroom.
I've never been to see a male stripper. First of all most of them are too hot to be straight. Second, they probably have done porn at some time in the past which is pretty gross to think of, and lastly I've seen on tv how they rub the spectators faces against their crotch. I don't care how many g-strings he has on that's just disgusting.
Now here's the psychological aspect. In most cases men fall in love (or lust) from visual cues, hence all the XXX strip clubs. Women on the other hand, usually fall in love between their ears. They might initially be attracted to a hot guy but if he doesn't have anything to back it up personality wise, he might as well be a sex toy. But under no circumstances is it ok to send a naked picture to someone you don't know. It's crude and nauseating.
I really don't know why men are so obsessed with their penis. They want to measure them and compare them to their friends. They take pictures of them and share them with an uninterested world. I don't care what it looks like or how long it is, I don't know you. Are they jealous because a woman's breasts are somewhat on display every day. Would they prefer to run around in a banana hammock to let all the world admire what they adore so much? Believe me the amount of nausea medicine sold would increase by 150%. Get over yourself guys.
A final thought to any of you who want to continue to send these vulgar pictures, it's a waste of time. I'll automatically report you to FB as spam and I will block you. I only care to see one man naked but the Lord hasn't brought him into my life yet as my committed loving man. You'll get no good reaction from me. Keep your pants on, please
I don't like seeing any man totally naked. I feel mens privates are purely utilitarian, not to be admired. Give me a good ole boy peeling off his shirt after working in the fields all day well I'd be very interested in seeing that. Pants on of course. Now contrary to popular belief, I am not a prude endorsing chastity belts but I do thing dating and in particular online dating is in dire need of an infusion of class. Certain things should remain in the bedroom.
I've never been to see a male stripper. First of all most of them are too hot to be straight. Second, they probably have done porn at some time in the past which is pretty gross to think of, and lastly I've seen on tv how they rub the spectators faces against their crotch. I don't care how many g-strings he has on that's just disgusting.
Now here's the psychological aspect. In most cases men fall in love (or lust) from visual cues, hence all the XXX strip clubs. Women on the other hand, usually fall in love between their ears. They might initially be attracted to a hot guy but if he doesn't have anything to back it up personality wise, he might as well be a sex toy. But under no circumstances is it ok to send a naked picture to someone you don't know. It's crude and nauseating.
I really don't know why men are so obsessed with their penis. They want to measure them and compare them to their friends. They take pictures of them and share them with an uninterested world. I don't care what it looks like or how long it is, I don't know you. Are they jealous because a woman's breasts are somewhat on display every day. Would they prefer to run around in a banana hammock to let all the world admire what they adore so much? Believe me the amount of nausea medicine sold would increase by 150%. Get over yourself guys.
A final thought to any of you who want to continue to send these vulgar pictures, it's a waste of time. I'll automatically report you to FB as spam and I will block you. I only care to see one man naked but the Lord hasn't brought him into my life yet as my committed loving man. You'll get no good reaction from me. Keep your pants on, please
Tuesday, August 23, 2016
THE ONE THAT GOT AWAY
Be honest. We all have thoughts about the one who got away. It can be recent or it can be decades before but either way, you think about what might have been. It can happen even if you're in a satisfying relationship or if you're alone. There's just something about them that comes to mind. It's hard to admit that we want someone who no longer (or never did) wants you. I guarantee, no matter how happy you are in your life, every once in a while your mind wanders back in time and you grieve the lost relationship as if it were a dear friend. You don't understand why it had to happen and what you could have done differently. Sometimes there's nothing you could have changed because the problem was not yours to begin with but rather with the object of your desire.
My experience with this started over 20 years ago. There was a prominent professional man, who was ten years my senior, that I began dating. It only lasted for a few months and we were never intimate so our break-up was amicable. A few years later, I married and had a daughter. We moved from South Carolina to Kansas so I was cut off from family and friends rather abruptly. From the outside, we looked like Ken and Barbie with Skipper. On the inside things were not so perfect. I kept in touch mostly by email with my former love that I'll call Matthew. Whenever something big happened he was the first person I wanted to talk to. Don't get me wrong, I only felt friendship with Matthew because I was emotionally and physically faithful to my husband. But all that is another story.
Long story short. After 15 years of marriage I made the decision to divorce my husband. The first logical person to call after my mom was Matthew because he was an accomplished attorney. I knew I needed to return to South Carolina from Kansas. Matthew explained the statutes regarding divorce in South Carolina. Basically he told me that I either had to have a grievous cause (adultery, abuse, etc) that I could prove or I had to be separated for one year. As it turned out Kansas was a No fault divorce state where you didn't need cause or even be separated. I only had to file and the court date was 60 days later. Through all of this, Matthew was my support system. He knew the hell I'd lived in and he still cared enough about me to try and help. My ex actually went into my email and accused me of wanting to leave him for Matthew which was absurd since we hadn't seen one another in oner 15 years. But in his mind, I was moving back to my home to be with Matthew. I do admit that I often thought (mostly during bad times in my marriage) and wondered what would have been my reality had I stayed with Matthew.
After my divorce I did move back home. Matthew and I arranged to have dinner out soon after I moved back. Seeing him, hearing his voice as he spoke my name, the way he had a funny retort or story no matter the subject we were on. Everything felt right. I felt 22 years old again and I couldn't contain my feelings from leaking out. That's when Matthew told me he would remain a confirmed bachelor at 50+ years. We stayed friends and kept in touch, however I recognized that he was taking weekend trips to a city on the coast. Finally he told me about his "arrangement" with a friend with benefits down there. He told me that my emotions scared him, that he'd love to sleep with me but he couldn't risk me being hurt when he couldn't reciprocate my feelings for him.
To this day, we remain friends but with no benefits. I asked him to please not tell me when he was going to the coast because it was like a dagger to my heart. For a long time, I wondered what I did wrong. I wondered why he couldn't love me. Then I realized the issues were within him and not caused by me.
He's the one that got away, and I'll always have feelings for him in a small portion of my heart.
My experience with this started over 20 years ago. There was a prominent professional man, who was ten years my senior, that I began dating. It only lasted for a few months and we were never intimate so our break-up was amicable. A few years later, I married and had a daughter. We moved from South Carolina to Kansas so I was cut off from family and friends rather abruptly. From the outside, we looked like Ken and Barbie with Skipper. On the inside things were not so perfect. I kept in touch mostly by email with my former love that I'll call Matthew. Whenever something big happened he was the first person I wanted to talk to. Don't get me wrong, I only felt friendship with Matthew because I was emotionally and physically faithful to my husband. But all that is another story.
Long story short. After 15 years of marriage I made the decision to divorce my husband. The first logical person to call after my mom was Matthew because he was an accomplished attorney. I knew I needed to return to South Carolina from Kansas. Matthew explained the statutes regarding divorce in South Carolina. Basically he told me that I either had to have a grievous cause (adultery, abuse, etc) that I could prove or I had to be separated for one year. As it turned out Kansas was a No fault divorce state where you didn't need cause or even be separated. I only had to file and the court date was 60 days later. Through all of this, Matthew was my support system. He knew the hell I'd lived in and he still cared enough about me to try and help. My ex actually went into my email and accused me of wanting to leave him for Matthew which was absurd since we hadn't seen one another in oner 15 years. But in his mind, I was moving back to my home to be with Matthew. I do admit that I often thought (mostly during bad times in my marriage) and wondered what would have been my reality had I stayed with Matthew.
After my divorce I did move back home. Matthew and I arranged to have dinner out soon after I moved back. Seeing him, hearing his voice as he spoke my name, the way he had a funny retort or story no matter the subject we were on. Everything felt right. I felt 22 years old again and I couldn't contain my feelings from leaking out. That's when Matthew told me he would remain a confirmed bachelor at 50+ years. We stayed friends and kept in touch, however I recognized that he was taking weekend trips to a city on the coast. Finally he told me about his "arrangement" with a friend with benefits down there. He told me that my emotions scared him, that he'd love to sleep with me but he couldn't risk me being hurt when he couldn't reciprocate my feelings for him.
To this day, we remain friends but with no benefits. I asked him to please not tell me when he was going to the coast because it was like a dagger to my heart. For a long time, I wondered what I did wrong. I wondered why he couldn't love me. Then I realized the issues were within him and not caused by me.
He's the one that got away, and I'll always have feelings for him in a small portion of my heart.
Monday, August 22, 2016
DATING AFTER 40
I'm new to this blogging thing so bear with me. I have been single for five years now and I can truthfully say I'm completely over my ex-husband and my marriage. I'm grateful for that relationship because I have been blessed with my beautiful daughter. But she's off at college, spreading her little fluffy adult angel wings, so I think it's time I consider the possibility that time is running out for me to meet the man of my dreams. Oh hell, who am I kidding I'll settle for the man of my naps at this point. Am I desperate? No, but I am aware of my situation. The fact is at least in my town, there just aren't a great number of men appropriate to my age who are available. And I tried dating younger (20yrs younger) but being a cougar just didn't work for me.
I don't do the bar scene. I'd rather not gaze into the blurry red eyes over JagerBombs. Come on people, the days of getting trashed and hooking up isn't even a good idea for twenty year olds so once you hit 40, going to bars looks a bit pathetic. Who am I kidding, it's pretty pathetic at twenty to get sloppy drunk. Not a big fan of intoxicated individuals.
Now for my big reveal. I've tried online dating more than once. It's not the safest avenue to meet someone but everything has a little risk. But there are some really creepy people on the internet and they can appear totally normal man of your dreams perfect until about the third date. That seems to be a magic number for me. By the third date I start to peel away the exterior layers like an onion and spot the little red flags that scream, "Run away!! Now! Run". So far very few have passed the oh so important third date and it wasn't someone from the web.
I have a problem with honesty. I'm too honest too soon sometimes. I've made the fatal mistake of telling someone too many details from my marriage and it sends them running. Instead of appearing honest to a fault, I come across as 'crazy psycho bitch femanazi ex-wife". So of course they headed for the hills and I didn't make that mistake with anyone else.
I also have a problem with trust. I tend to try and believe that everyone are being totally honest and trustworthy when in fact their stories just don't add up. So that's where not only the third date phenomenon crops up but also My Mother. She can smell bs better than anyone I've ever seen. Yes, I still talk to my mom about my dates. After all, she is an unbiased spectator to what is going on in my life. And she's hardly ever wrong. It takes a really sneaky creepy guy to get past her.
With all that being said, I still am trying meeting online. Why? Because like all the Disney Princesses I have hope and I believe in romance, true love, and happily ever after. Without hope the world turns gray. It all comes down to believing in God's plan for me. He knows my prayers for him to bring a God-ly man into my life and he will answer in his time. I'm just not sure if he'll use the internet to do it. So remember this hopeless romantic in your prayers tonight. Can't hurt, right?
I don't do the bar scene. I'd rather not gaze into the blurry red eyes over JagerBombs. Come on people, the days of getting trashed and hooking up isn't even a good idea for twenty year olds so once you hit 40, going to bars looks a bit pathetic. Who am I kidding, it's pretty pathetic at twenty to get sloppy drunk. Not a big fan of intoxicated individuals.
Now for my big reveal. I've tried online dating more than once. It's not the safest avenue to meet someone but everything has a little risk. But there are some really creepy people on the internet and they can appear totally normal man of your dreams perfect until about the third date. That seems to be a magic number for me. By the third date I start to peel away the exterior layers like an onion and spot the little red flags that scream, "Run away!! Now! Run". So far very few have passed the oh so important third date and it wasn't someone from the web.
I have a problem with honesty. I'm too honest too soon sometimes. I've made the fatal mistake of telling someone too many details from my marriage and it sends them running. Instead of appearing honest to a fault, I come across as 'crazy psycho bitch femanazi ex-wife". So of course they headed for the hills and I didn't make that mistake with anyone else.
I also have a problem with trust. I tend to try and believe that everyone are being totally honest and trustworthy when in fact their stories just don't add up. So that's where not only the third date phenomenon crops up but also My Mother. She can smell bs better than anyone I've ever seen. Yes, I still talk to my mom about my dates. After all, she is an unbiased spectator to what is going on in my life. And she's hardly ever wrong. It takes a really sneaky creepy guy to get past her.
With all that being said, I still am trying meeting online. Why? Because like all the Disney Princesses I have hope and I believe in romance, true love, and happily ever after. Without hope the world turns gray. It all comes down to believing in God's plan for me. He knows my prayers for him to bring a God-ly man into my life and he will answer in his time. I'm just not sure if he'll use the internet to do it. So remember this hopeless romantic in your prayers tonight. Can't hurt, right?
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