Today there are marches for Women's Empowerment are happening in a number of cities across the country. Some say it's in protest of Donald Trump's Inauguration and in response to demeaning things he said to other men about women. Other reasons have been cited. Personally, I think the main reason we need to bring women together and put the spotlight on women's rights is in regard to domestic violence.
I was in an abusive relationship for many years. Domestic violence can take many forms. There is psychological abuse, emotional abuse and physical abuse. To be honest, I would have preferred the physical abuse be more prominent than the other two because bleeding and bruising can heal sometimes not even leaving a scar. It's something you can show to a doctor or law enforcement as proof of the pain you are suffering. That is not the case with psychological or emotional abuse. I had been called such horrible names so many times that I didn't even think it was wrong for someone to call me a bitch, a slut, or a whore.
One day, I got an email saying that a magazine was going to publish one of my articles. I was so excited that I could hardly wait until he got home from work. When he came in, I said, "You won't believe it but the article I submitted is being published. They are paying me too. It's the article I wrote about spending Thanksgiving at the Community Dinner. I can't believe they wrote right back to me."
He stopped beside me and said, "Why can't you at least let me get in the door? I can't have a moments peace coming in from work into my own home. You just bombard me with all this stuff about your day and I can't even come in and have my dinner in peace before you start in at me with all your trivial crap. So thank you for ruining my entire evening."
"I'm sorry," I said, "I was just so excited. This is a pretty big magazine and hard to get into. I thought you would be proud of me."
Then he said, "Right now all I want from you is my dinner and a few hours of peace and quiet while I watch television."
So I fixed his plate and brought him his dinner to the living room without saying another word. I felt so bad that I had made him so angry and knew that I should never let that happen again. His words had bruised my soul and battered my heart and those were injuries that took a very long time to heal. I carried those invisible scars around for years.
After I finally left him, family and friends, none of whom knew what my life was like, wondered why it took me so long to leave. The difficult truth is that I was ashamed that I had let his demeaning words and his repeatedly tell me I was crazy brainwash me. Every ugly thing he had said was tattooed on my heart and I was embarrassed that I wasn't strong enough to say enough is enough and walk away.
So when we think of Women's Empowerment, think of those suffering in silence. No matter if their bruises are visible or not they need our prayers. Some might say I'm lucky because he only put his hands on me a few times. Even once is one time too many and a real man would not call someone vile and nasty names. We need to educate young women about psychological and emotional abuse and how these abusers take over complete control of the lives the women lead. I could not buy a loaf of bread without calling to get his permission. That is abuse. I finally am putting the blame where it belongs on my abuser. I am done feeling ashamed and I know that I am stronger since God gave me the strength to get through the situation.
If you know someone that you suspect may be a victim of psychological abuse, try to get them to call the nearest abused persons hotline. No one deserves to be controlled, degraded or beaten.
God Bless.
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